First and foremost, this is not about the concerted effort that went in vain of a team that works together to make a movie, which bombed at the Box-Office.
More often than not, they have risen up to deliver blockbuster hits at the next attempt and prove the detractors wrong most of the times.
This small note is NOT about them.
This is about that half-baked ideas, executed , realized and under cover of the most deafening publicity onslaught and media overkill,thinks of hitting the Constant Movie Fan unawares,and take his money and run before he/she even knew what hit him/her in the first place.
This is about the arrogance of a self-appointed few who think they can smother you in the loudest marketing spiel and deceive you into buying that seat in the Cinema to watch whatever they deem fit to show you.
This small note is about a handful of those half-baked ideas,which came as ..well,exactly half-baked movies onto the Silver screen and died cruel deaths in the arc-lights. So,here goes,my dear Constant Viewer,the top nominations in the Microwave category.
Salaam-E-Ishq. Well,you can forget the fact that Nikhil Advani had a readymade script available with him,complete with the whole visualisation of the movie readymade,in other words,a Hollywood Production called Love Actually.Maybe the heady feeling of Kal Ho Na Ho's success took a little while to wear off.But Salaam_E_ishq proved to be more than a sledgehammer blow to the face.Even 12 multi-talented actors couldnt save this from gasping and sputtering without a tight "inspired "script.
Jhoom-Barabar-Jhoom. First rule in the Great Big Book of Bollywood Common Sense is this...
A song never saved a movie. I repeat , A song never saved a movie.Amitabh Bachchan wasted,Preity Zinta dazed and the rest of the cast walking through an experience best described as catatonic.In the apt words of Adi,the biggest movie fan on this side of the Cauvery,it should have been renamed as Doom Barabar Doom.
RGV ki AAG.Words fail when it comes to RGV ki AAG.Being maverick is one,being experimental is passe',but being in abject denial of an average movie fan's sentiments when it comes to Sholay is colossal stupidity.Moral of the story..If you think you are creatively way up above all,you might be standing all alone ....with a dunce cap.
Cash.Okay,its not the first time a Diamond gets lost in Bollywood.Agreed its a thriller caper set in South Africa,and you have a dream cast on screen to find it.But,Mr.Anubhav Sinha,with all due respect,doesn't any movie need a coherent story first?
Lagaa Chunari Mein Daag:Another plum cake on hyperthrust.Every single cliche' in Bollywood,down to even the 80's dialogues came pat,in cliched sequence after sequence.Parineeta was also a woman's journey,but a worthwhile one.Pradeep Sarkar went way ahead of himself with this one.Where,wish I knew.
No Smoking.Anurag Kashyap's surreal outing on a cigarette,John Abraham,Siberia and a Bathtub.
maybe the intentions were good,but the end product had you in pieces.Enough for a visit to your personal Shrink.
Saawariya.Everything about it is so magnificient,big and loud that its scary during its pre-release hype.And butts head against king khan's OSO.Hey,there's always space for one more movie in the Constant Fan's Heart.provided,you tell a good story.Not,an extended jewellery ad disguised as a movie.
I repeat once again,there are no fixed yardsticks to measure success in Bollywood."Success",by itself is a broad term that covers many aspects,some even riding on the opposites. A commercial success at the Box-Office maybe the pits when it comes to creativity.And you can conveniently blame it on the shallowness of the Viewer's tastes.
The arguments go on.
Into another year.
hopefully,without the duds.
Hopefully.
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